In every middle school there is a group of kids who are the trendsetters in hair length, fashion, how to act cool and even how to talk. You know who they were in your school, and maybe you were even one of them. I was a cool kid “wanna-be” languishing somewhere in the unremarkable vortex of artsy geeks and awkward athletes; a species classification I have been unable to shake.

But as it turns out, the cool kids never stopped; they just grew older and became the language trendsetters of today. A few years back they started the theologically shallow “IT’S ALL GOOD” craze. Then they birthed the “WAAAAAHOOO” movement –as in a dinner table full of middle-aged women throwing back Chardonnay trying to out “WHAAAAAHOOO” one another.

Most recently I’ve noticed cool speak has ebbed toward the aggravating “I KNOW, RIGHT?” For most of my five decades of living, I never heard one single person exclaim, “I KNOW, RIGHT?” Now it is everywhere. I heard it twice on TV last night and five times today in a short conversation.

In light of this proliferation of annoying “cool speak,” I want you to know that I will resist all temptations to succumb to using it, and I confidently promise that you will never hear me rip a “WHAAAAHOOO.” After all there are standards. I know, right?